The common thing between all the readings was that they did not just jump into wrighting code. They usually talked with the person wanting the sight for a while before they ever started coding. Through web sites mock ups the designer communicates what they think the sight will look like and the consumer tells them what they think they should change.
To me the first thing i ask them is if they want it to be a giant site with lots of information thats has lots of text or if they want it to be a more graphical representation of what they want. From then on i go to a color scheme. I go through and pick colors that i thinkl look good together. I especially do this when i design logos. To me getting a web sites color down is very important. You have to find out what audience the web site is going for. If it is for a younger crowd of males the sites will tend to be darker. If its females or older people the sites tend to have a lighter appeal.
